One Step Closer
Have you ever been so sure of a decision? You know exactly what you want, how its going to look and feel. You know with no questions….this is it! You can’t envision anything else but this specific plan you want to now put into place.
That was me 4-5 months ago. I decided in my mind and heart that I was going to create and sell my paintings full time. I had already begun taking entrepreneur classes, making connections in my community, searching for venues to sell my artwork and diving deep into online selling. Through mediation practice and other mindfulness techniques I was manifesting exactly how I wanted to create my own art business and how successful it would become.
Its funny how the Universe works! Even though you might have every thing planned out to a “T”, the Universe might have a different plan for you. Let me explain!
By mid 2021 I had already decided I was going to leave my job. I had been working remotely for many years and was I tired of the loneliness it brought. COVID and being quarantined really pushed me over the edge and I needed to get back out and work in a “real” office. A place where I could coffee clutch and hear all about my co-worker’s weekend plans. The opportunity arose in November 2021 and I jumped at it immediately. I have the ability, unlike some people, to just dive head first into a decision and not focus on all the “what ifs”. I rationalize that if I made a decision that turns out to not be the best thing or what I thought it would be I can just pick myself up and move on to something else. I feel this type of thinking has served me well in numerous situations. I honestly feel I don’t make bad decisions I just create learning opportunities for myself. I will be honest - some of those learning opportunities have been hard ones, but I always ask myself “what am I supposed to be learning from this?”
It had been some months now and I was loving the idea of getting out of the house daily and working with my new co-workers. It had its challenges like any job but the urge for me to start my full time art business was tugging on me incessantly. Now on my one year anniversary it was becoming quite clear this was not my ideal job. I decided to give a months notice and push forward with my idea of starting my art business. I was envisioning sitting at my easel all day, visiting art galleries to get inspiration, and posting pictures and videos on social media. This was going to be great! My dream was coming true, everything was going to line up perfect! Right……
Wrong! My first official day of sitting at my easel was not what I expected. Yes, I was excited to now have unlimited time to paint. I can finally narrow down the tons of reference photos I’ve been saving for inspiration. But wait, my very detailed vision of my art business that had been living in my head for so long now was suddenly gone. I searched my being up and down. I even went into a mediation to try and locate it, but nothing. Where did my dream go? It was just here. I was overcome by nerves. In the back of my mind I was stressing of how I was going to pay the bills this month and now the thought of HAVING to paint instead of painting for the joy and pleasure of it. It was in this moment that the Universe spoke to me.
“Now is not the time to do this!” What!? What do you mean its not the time? This is what I’ve been wanting and asking so hard for. Taking a deep breath and asking myself in full honesty, “is this what you want right now?” My answer was NO! I had a huge sigh of relief come over me. I didn’t have to choose to do this full time right this moment. It is still my dream but I don’t have to fulfill it right now. Wow - this was big for me. Where I thought I had such clarity in knowing what I wanted to do with my life the Universe helped me see that it could still happen but it has other plans for me and I have some learning to do.
After that epiphany I immediately got to work on finding a new job. The Universe provided a wonderful job within 2 weeks and within a month it has become the exact position and culture I was manifesting all along.
More to come on my continued journey of starting my art business. It is still a big dream!
Much blessings and gratitude! xoxo
Dawn
